The Captain - Who are you? What does your life look like and what type of partner would suit you?

This is about internal boundary setting and having the self-worth to maintain those boundaries. Are you happy with your life and who you are? Do you love yourself?

What type of relationship does your nervous system need to stay safe and regulated?

If you are familiar with attachment theory, you would have a 'secure attachment' mindset, for this system to work.

The Boat – Intimate relationships require attraction & chemistry. What model of boat are you naturally drawn to? Not settling for, but what gets your motor going?

Let's face it - At this age and stage of life, we can survive by ourselves. Therefore, finding someone that you want to share parts or all of your life with needs to be grounded in attraction. Compromise will eventually cause resentment and the slow death of the relationship.

Do you want to spend quality time with your boat and enjoy adventures and life together?

What type of watercraft gets your motor going?

Ie. Kayak, jet ski, speed boat, sailing boat, tugboat, kayak, oil tanker etc. 

The Waterway – what is the rhythm of your daily life? Not what you hope to do, but what you automatically do and have done.

What is your energy level? Do your friends call you the ‘Energiser Bunny or the couch potatoe?

Do you need a partner or companion that can match your energy, routines, lifestyles? 

Waterways can be flat, calm, confused, turbulent, rough, stormy or cyclonic etc. What is your life’s weather pattern?  How close does your potential partner needs to match this, for nervous system regulation?  

Without the aligned waterway, the fire will get out of hand, simmer or extinguish!

The boat is the vessel you are attracted to. The waterway is what makes you want to stay on the boat. The substance of the person. How do they align with your view of the world? What excites you to be with that person. What keeps the fire burning, once the flames die down a bit.

The Hull – This is about the stability your nervous system needs to stay self-regulated. Knowing what triggers, helps you understand the type of hull you need, based on the boat you have chosen.

The hull is about the stability in the relationship. Is the hull fit-for-purpose, for the waterway you want it to travel?

If you plan to live a fast and turbulent life, will the tugboat work for you? That is, identifying the traits of the captain are so important. Who are you and your needs (v wants).

·       Emotional stability

·       Emotional availability  (This is a scale, based on how you show up in relationships and what you need - ie. avoidant > secure < anxious)

·       Financial stability

·       Career stability

·       Housing

·       Family commitments

·       Physical / Health stability

·       Life / routines

·       Intellectual

When dating, often chemistry (fire) is where the relationship starts, and as the relationship continues, the stability is where the relationship is made or broken. Hence why relationships often only last 6 – 18 months. The sails are set without checking the stability of the hull.

Dating later in life often fails in this critical point. You may find a compatible boat, waterway and hull, but you are off in different directions. This sometimes appears 2 or 3 years into your relationship.

You both need to know where you are going and if its not in the same direction, you need to clarify the relationship’s long-term future!

If you both agree with living in the moment, great. But if one person wants more, the search starts all again. The long-term pain of returning to the harbour (to select another boat) is not worth the short journey fun times.

Underpinning the 5 pillars

·       Trust

·       Respect

·       Safety

·       Consistency, reliability & honesty

·       Care, kindness and consideration

·       Open and clear communication

·       Self-regulation / emotional awareness

·       Skills to repair after rupture

·       Growth & mutual effort

Note - As a pilot program, we are planning to keep it as simple as possible.

.

We will expand the ages and sexual orientation as we streamline systems.

.

Location - Launceston Tasmania 7250

Age - (Over 50s)

Sexual orientation- Heterosexual

.

1.       Compulsory single sex age specific 90-minute face-to-face information session (how it works, personal reflection on readiness) $25

2.       Complete personal WFYB information via email survey ($75)

3.       Social daytime weekend meet & great – speed dating with a difference – You will receive a ‘dance card’ with a predetermined list of possible compatible people. We’ve done the homework. The rest is up to you.

4.       Optional extras

a.       Coaching – help with self-discovery prior to completing personal WFYB information survey (including attachment theory based on childhood conditioning / experiences and relationship experiences)

b.      Coaching – Underpinning skill development

c.       Ongoing support

.

Profiling will include

.

Partnership style

Direction in life

Energy in life

Career

Housing

Family and parent responsibilities

Personal attributes

Health & fitness

Height

Vices

.

The profiling survey is comprehensive and will take 10 -15 minutes. The link will be provided after you attend the information session.

This is what makes the difference between FYB and online dating apps!